


Borrowed Time

by frith_in_thorns



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Canon-Compliant, Disaster space babies, Everyday life-or-death situations, Friendship and emotions and all that stuff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, LLF Comment Project, Space Anomalies, Very bad days on the Hephaestus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 23:10:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14412510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frith_in_thorns/pseuds/frith_in_thorns
Summary: Station-wide malfunctions, bad tempers, minor electrocutions... just another bad day on the Hephaestus, no?No. It's worse. Ofcourseit's worse.(Set nebulously in the first half of season four.)





	Borrowed Time

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Round 7 of the Small Fandom Big Bang ([smallfandombang on dreamwidth](https://smallfandombang.dreamwidth.org/)). I really enjoyed writing it, but I was so organised (for once) that I wrote the whole thing in the first month of the challenge and have consequently been sitting _very impatiently_ on the finished fic since early December. Anyway, I really hope you enjoy reading!
> 
> Thank you very much to Jabberwocky, an actual physicist, for beta-reading this. (There was no endorsement of my Space Physics. But hopefully you're here for the Minkowski hurt/comfort instead.)
> 
> The beautiful art was made for this fic by Jakebot. I really really advise you to click the image below and zoom in to see all the background detail! Also please visit [his tumblr art post](https://jakebot.tumblr.com/post/173301419943/art-for-the-wolf-359-fic-borrowed-time-by) and tell him how awesome it is!

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/SaqhSZg.png)

* * *

The lights flickered again, ominously. Minkowski froze in anticipation halfway down the corridor, measuring the distance to the nearest emergency locker that held flashlights, but this time they didn't go out. After a few seconds they regained a deceptive steadiness.

"Hera, are you any closer to tracking down this bug?" she asked, without much optimism.

"Sorry, Lieutenant." The only consolation was that Hera sounded just as fed up as everyone else. "I still really don't think it's my system that's at fault. It's like there's some weird interference all over."

"That's what you said six hours ago," Minkowski reminded her. She was trying to be patient, but the random system malfunctions had been ongoing for over a day and her patience was running out. "Have you really not gotten any further with it?"

"No, I haven't," Hera said, irritated. "And, FYI, you know what really isn't helping? You and Captain Lovelace making continual insinuations that I'm holding back from sharing vital information. I'm already motivated to fix this problem ASAP, I don't need all the complaining!"

Minkowski sighed. "Sorry, Hera. I think the lack of sleep is making us snappish."

"You think you had it bad last night, try having that intermittent alarm blaring from _inside your brain,_ " Hera grumbled. "I've still got a headache."

"Speaking of Lovelace, is she still spot-testing systems in engineering?" Minkowski asked.

"No, she gave up on that," Hera said. "She's retesting the bridge systems now. If you're thinking of looking for her, she's not in a very good mood."

"Sounds like she can join the club. Where's Eiffel?"

"In comms, trying to —" Hera paused. "Actually, you're probably happier not knowing."

Minkowski groaned. "Yes, I'm sure I am."

"I've also been systematically debugging and rebooting all my non-critical systems," Hera offered.

"I thought you were just telling me that this definitely isn't to do with you?"

"Well, yes, but I prefer to have hard evidence to back me up when I'm arguing my corner," Hera said. "Besides, I needed to feel like I'm doing _something_ , and right now I can't think of anything else to try.

"Yeah, I can understand that," Minkowski allowed. "As long as you warn us before you decide to reboot the _non_ non-critical systems."

"Obviously," Hera said, sounding offended even though precedent was very much not on her side. Minkowski decided to be diplomatic for once and not point this out.

"I'm going up to the bridge," she said instead. "Have Eiffel stop — whatever it is he's doing — and meet me and Lovelace there. Maybe if we all get together on this we can make a breakthrough."

"Mmm," Hera said, sounding unconvinced. Which was understandable, as Minkowski wasn't especially convinced herself. It hadn't produced any results the previous times they'd tried. But, like Hera, she was at the point of needing to feel that she was doing _something_.

The corridor lights flickered again while she was en-route, but thankfully nothing worse happened. Eiffel launched himself towards her as soon as she entered the bridge. "Oh, thank god you're finally here."

"What's happened now?" she demanded, alarmed. He could only have been a couple of minutes ahead of her, at most.

"Lovelace is in an _incredibly_ bad mood," Eiffel said. "Even for her, I mean. We're Defcon 2 at least. Minutes to midnight."

"Eiffel, I can hear you," Lovelace growled.

Eiffel flinched. "See?"

Minkowski rolled her eyes, elbowed him out of the way, and joined Lovelace at her console. "Are you having any luck?" she asked.

"The star's being a bit odd, but not really more than usual," Lovelace said. "Hera doesn't think any radiation it's outputting should be affecting the Hephaestus, though, and I'm inclined to agree. The spectral profile's all wrong for it."

Minkowski had a look at the charts, but couldn't see any immediate reason to argue. She shivered. "Hera, isn't it a bit cold in here?" she asked.

Lovelace sighed. "Yes, the air-conditioning has decided what we need are periodic icy blasts. It's fun."

"I am so ready for this to be over," Minkowski said. "I hate to say it, but I'd almost prefer we had a proper crisis instead of this constant drip of irritations."

"Don't say that too loudly," Eiffel warned her.

An excellent point. Minkowski took over the console again. "Hera, are we sure this is a full read-out of what the star's pumping out?"

"Full spectral analysis," Hera confirmed. "I'm using every sensor we've got, plus a couple of jury-rigged ones."

Lovelace groaned. "There has to —"

She was interrupted by a loud, buzzing crackle. Minkowski, realising a second too late where it was coming from, tried to snatch her hands away from the console. Blue sparks formed around her fingers.

Then the current hit. It was like a kick to her entire body at once, punching her breath out: an all-encompassing pressure and pain and —

"Minkowski! Minkowski, can you hear me?"

She groaned as she fought her eyes open. Lovelace's worried face hovered in front of her, with Eiffel trying to elbow in from the side. "I'm here," she said.

"Good," Lovelace said, with considerable relief. She carefully let go of Minkowski's shoulders. "How do you feel?"

Minkowski took stock. She was shaky. Her heart was hammering. Her chest hurt. "Sore," she groaned. "What just happened?"

"It was very Star Trek," Eiffel said. "A load of electricity came out of the console and zapped you across the room. I didn't know that actually happened in real life."

"You might want to sound less approving," Lovelace said. She turned back to Minkowski, eyes still running over her anxiously. "You were out for about half a minute, which was pretty alarming. I think that means you're going to take a break. Preferably where one of us can keep an eye on you."

"I'm feeling fine now," Minkowski said. She took a couple of deep breaths.

"Minkowski."

"Okay, so a bit shaky, but it's nothing I can't handle. Besides, if you really want to keep an eye on me, it's more efficient if I just stay right here."

"I think you need to slack off more," Eiffel said. "Sometimes it's good for you."

Minkowski rounded on him. "We've gone from minorly inconvenient malfunctions to an electrical overload! What do you think the next stage might be?"

"Actually," Hera broke in, "That wasn't an electrical overload."

"It wasn't?" Lovelace asked. "What was it, then?"

"I'm not exactly sure yet," Hera admitted.

"Well, it sure as hell looked like an electrical overload," Lovelace said. "You can't just claim it isn't and not give an alternative."

"I don't have one yet," Hera said. She sounded perplexed. "It didn't actually register on my systems at all. Like it didn't even happen."

"I can assure you, it _definitely_ happened," Minkowski said. She had the aches to prove it.

"I know that! I saw it. I just didn't _feel_ it. And now I can't find any residual traces."

"Well, that sounds… not normal," Eiffel said. "Abnormal, even." He pulled a suddenly alarmed face. "Paranormal?"

"Eiffel, I swear if you continue down that ridiculous line of thought I'll stuff you in the broom closet," Lovelace warned. "I'm taking _sane_ suggestions only."

Eiffel muttered something. It sounded rather like, _Who're you gonna call?_ Minkowski and Lovelace exchanged a glance of mutual exasperation.

"Guys!" Hera said, sharply. "Something weird's happening in the comms room."

"Weird how?" Minkowski demanded, but she was already moving. She met Lovelace's eyes for a brief, wordless battle wherein Lovelace telegraphed _Stay here!_ and she responded with _No way in hell,_ and barged her way firmly ahead of Eiffel into the corridor.

"I don't _know_ what's happening!" Hera exclaimed, frustrated. "It's like I've got a migraine there — I don't know how else to describe it."

Lovelace flung open the door to the comms room and reared back. "Holy —" Minkowski caught a glimpse over Lovelace's shoulder, and immediately grabbed her sleeve and yanked her away from the door, forcing Eiffel to also try and quickly get out of the way.

The comms room was awash with blue fire. Sparks leapt and crackled between pieces of equipment. Lines of current arced across the centre of the room.

"Hera, report!" Minkowski demanded.

"I don't —"

The blue electrical whirlwind abruptly subsided, hissing and crackling into nothing.

" _Now_ can I talk about paranormal activity?" Eiffel asked.

"Eh…" Hera began.

"No, you may _not_ ," Minkowski said, firmly.

Lovelace ventured gingerly over the threshold, motioning the other two to stay back. "All the equipment still seems to be powered on and working," she said, after a brief examination. "Except for the one gunked up with popcorn which a certain communications officer promised he'd have cleaned out by yesterday."

"Hey, we had a crisis," Eiffel said, half-heartedly.

"It didn't actually start until after your deadline had passed."

"Can we get back on track here?" Hera asked. "Because it is _freaking me out_ that this has happened twice now and I've still got no useful data."

"Please let's," Lovelace said. "Do you have any ideas for what we can do about it?"

"I — Oh. Oh no."

"Is it happening again?" Minkowski asked.

"I think so. In the engines!"

It was a second dash through the station, after Lovelace again tried to persuade Minkowski to stay behind. Minkowski once again refused. They might not know what they were doing or have any kind of plan, but she was going to be a part of it anyway.

Blue fire danced through engineering, forcing them back from the door. "Hera, can you feel this?" Lovelace asked.

"Yes, but not usefully," Hera said. She groaned. "It's just… horrible. Weird."

"At least you said it doesn't seem to being doing any damage?" Eiffel suggested. 

There was a sudden loud crash. From across the room yellow-white sparks joined the blue.

"You had to say it," Minkowski hissed.

"I'm sorry!"

"I can feel _that_!" There was sudden fear in Hera's voice. "The temperature in number two engine is rising — Shut the door!"

Lovelace slammed it closed. From behind it came the hiss of the fire-suppression system. 

"Oh my god, we're going to die," Eiffel whispered.

"No, no, no, no," Hera was muttering, frantically.

"What can we do?" Lovelace demanded.

"Shut up! No, get to somewhere contained. This is — This is _bad_ —"

Minkowski felt the explosion vibrating through the walls a moment before the noise began — an ominous shaking grumble, building within seconds to a deafening, booming roar. Hera was shouting, but it was impossible to make out the words. Then blue sparks were clutching at her fingertips, her eyelashes, and she twisted towards the others just in time to witness the entire corridor to engineering crumple and rip itself apart.

She screamed, and a fireball roared up towards them, racing up the path of oxygen as behind it the station tore apart, venting into space —

* * *

"Minkowski! Minkowski, can you hear me?"

Her eyes flew open as she gasped for breath. Lovelace's worried face took up most of her view, with Eiffel trying to edge in from the side. "What —"

"Hey, take it easy," Lovelace said. She was gripping Minkowski's shoulders tightly. "You're back with us?"

Minkowski's eyes darted away from Lovelace, taking in the background of the bridge. Undamaged. It was okay. "I'm here," she said. "I'm here, what happened. Did I get shocked?"

"Yep, it was very Star Trek," Eiffel said. "A load of electricity blasted out of the console. I didn't know they did that in real life."

"You might want to sound less approving," Lovelace said. She frowned worriedly at Minkowski. "Try and relax. You were out for about half a minute. How are you feeling?"

"Uh," Minkowski said. She put a hand on her chest, trying to control her breathing. "We haven't blown up, right?"

"Not so far as I'm aware?" Lovelace said.

Minkowski disentangled herself from Lovelace's anxious grip. "I think… I must have been hallucinating. While I was out. There was more of that blue current everywhere, and then the station exploded."

"Well, that sounds trippy," Eiffel said. "Go big or go home, right?"

Lovelace gave him a shove, then peered worriedly into Minkowski's face again. "You still haven't answered me," she said. "How are you feeling other than having scary visions while unconscious?"

"Just… a bit sore and dizzy, I guess," Minkowski said. She shivered. "I swear I could _feel_ the Hephaestus rip apart." She looked up, and registered the expressions of her crew. "Stop looking at me like that! I'm okay."

"Nuh uh, as far as I'm convinced you're off active duty," Lovelace said. "Take a break like a good girl and you can come back later. I'm sure we'll still have plenty of our current sort-of-crisis to go around."

"Wait, crisis?" Minkowski asked, alarmed. "What's going on?"

"Um, all of the _random system malfunctions_?" Eiffel said. "The lights? The icy air-con blasts? The constant night-time siren?"

"They're still happening?" Minkowski asked, bewildered.

No, wait. Delete the stretch of time which hadn't actually happened, and —

"Yeah, I could have been on your side but you just blew it," Eiffel said. "Now I'm firmly on team you-need-to-get-some-rack-time, at least until your brain unscrambles."

"Sorry, Lieutenant, you're outnumbered," Hera said, with some but not a lot of sympathy.

Minkowski groaned. "Fine. I'll go off-shift."

"Good," Lovelace said. "Eiffel, escort her."

"Don't be ridiculous," Minkowski said. "I can find my quarters without keeling over."

"It's not like he's being useful anywhere else."

"Hey!" Eiffel protested.

"Wait a moment," Hera said. "Actually, could one of you check on some weird feedback I'm getting from the comms room?"

Minkowski froze.

"I'll go," Lovelace said. "…Minkowski. What's wrong?"

"This is what happened next," Minkowski said. "The comms room got overrun with an electrical storm, then the engines. Hera didn't know what was happening."

"Hera?" Lovelace asked.

"Okay, no, I don't _quite_ know what's happening," Hera admitted. "I just know something feels weird. Like a —"

"A migraine?" Minkowski suggested.

"Yeah, that's what I was going to say. How did you know?"

"It's what I remember you saying," Minkowski said.

"Um," Eiffel said. He made a noise a little like a nervous giggle. "Does this seem kinda spooky to anyone else? Because —"

"You know what?" Lovelace said. "Eiffel, go check out comms. I'm going to check the engines. As a preventative measure."

"I'm coming with you," Minkowski told her. She crossed her arms, not about to be gainsaid.

Lovelace looked at her and sighed. "Fine. Eiffel, why are you still here?"

He scarpered.

"I'm scanning for any unusual activity in the engine section," Hera said as they began moving. "I don't see anything so far."

"Do you have any more details from your — vision of the future or whatever it was?" Lovelace asked.

Minkowski shook her head. "Not anything actually helpful, just —" She paused. "Wait. Do you believe me?"

Lovelace shrugged and raised her eyebrows. "After everything that's happened, I'd be an idiot to discount it just because it sounds really weird."

"Oh," Minkowski said. "Yeah. I guess that makes sense."

Lovelace rolled her eyes a bit, and flung open the door to engineering. "It all looks quiet in here," she said, a little doubtfully.

Eiffel cut in, loud and agitated. "It's not quiet in comms. Holy shit!"

"What's happening?" Lovelace demanded.

"It's blue lightning city in here, Captain! Sparking off all over the place. I don't feel like getting too close."

"No, stay back," Lovelace said, hurriedly.

"That's the type of order I can get behind. Staying _well_ back, believe me."

"Captain, listen," Minkowski said. A low sound was buzzing on the edge of her hearing, getting louder all the time.

She heard the crackling at the same time as she saw the first blue sparks arcing out from the casing of the number two engine.

"Oh, dammit," Lovelace said, very quietly. She braced her feet against the doorframe and kicked off, hard.

Minkowski followed her, ignoring Hera asking whether they were sure this was a good idea. _Obviously_ it wasn't.

She had to dodge several sprays of sparks by the time she caught up to Lovelace. There was already much more crackling, and more arcs of current.

"I can't see where it's coming from!" Lovelace shouted. "It's like it appeared from everywhere at once!"

She was right. There was no obvious origin point. All of the engines were now bathed in blue flickers.

There was a loud crash. From the number two engine yellow-white bolts of current joined the blue. 

"I felt _that_!" Hera called in alarm. "The engine's internal temperature is rising rapidly — I recommend you evacuate!"

Lovelace grabbed a fire-suppressant unit from the wall and shoved it towards Minkowski. "Try and contain it!" She reached for another.

"No, you need to get out of there!" Hera insisted. "This is already getting above containment —"

"We have to do something!" Lovelace argued.

"No, _please_ —"

One of the blue tendrils of current caught Lovelace. She yelled, then spasmed, her head rolling back before she went limp.

Minkowski grabbed Lovelace's trailing foot. "Hera," she gasped.

"Hurry, please!"

She twisted towards the door, and then the roar of the explosion tore open her eardrums an instant before the searing wash of heat —

* * *

"Minkowski! Minkowski, can you hear me?"

Her eyes flew open, and she grabbed Lovelace's arm. "You're here!"

"Uh, yeah," Lovelace said. "How about you?"

Minkowski's eyes darted around the bridge. Both her crew-members were staring at her. Her heart was hammering. "It's happening again," she half-whispered.

"What, you've been electrocuted by a console before?" Eiffel asked. "It was very —"

"Very Star Trek, yes," Minkowski interrupted. 

"Hey, I was going to say that!"

"I know," Minkowski said. "You said it before. Both times."

Lovelace frowned at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Shortly before the Hephaestus exploded."

"Minkowski, I don't know if you're listening to yourself," Lovelace began, slowly, "But you're sounding a little… uh…"

"Crazy?" She laughed, a bit wildly. "Yeah, I know. Either I'm going crazy or this is… well. Something which has happened to me before. Twice before, to be precise, in succession."

Eiffel's stare became a look of dawning comprehension. "You're not saying we're having another freaky time loop situation?" he asked.

"I don't want to," Minkowski said. "But on the other hand, here I am. Coming round from being zapped. Again."

"Oookay," Hera said, breaking the long pause which followed. "Can you go back to the part about _exploding_?"

"That's a very good point," Lovelace said. "Seconded."

"Soon there's going to be an electrical overload in the number two engine," Minkowski said. "Immediately before that there are what appear to be massive electrical storms in comms and engineering, neither of which Hera can properly detect."

"Oh, this sounds _great_ ," Eiffel muttered. "And then we blow up?"

"Then we blow up," Minkowski confirmed. "And if the pattern holds, then I wake up from being electrocuted. Again."

"Awesome," Lovelace said, heavy with sarcasm. "How do we prevent ourselves exploding?"

"Last time you tried to use the manual fire suppressants," Minkowski said. "That didn't work."

"Let's try being more proactive," Lovelace said. "Hera, shut down the number two engine. Start making all of engineering as nonflammable as you can."

"If I can have permission to yank the O2 —"

"Do it."

"Yessir. Yanking O2 now."

There was a tense period of silence.

"If Hera can't feel what's going on, how will we know if it worked?" Eiffel asked.

Lovelace rolled her eyes. "We won't explode?"

"Wow, thank you, oh oracle."

"Shut up."

"Lieutenant?" Hera asked. "You mentioned the comms room? I'm detecting —"

"Something unspecifically wrong, like a migraine?" Minkowski suggested.

"Yes, exactly."

"Don't worry about it," Minkowski said. "The real show's in engines."

They waited in tense silence. She became aware that Eiffel kept sneaking her sideways glances. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, for —"

"Hold on," Hera said. "I'm getting something from engineering now."

"What?"

"I don't _know_!"

"But can you see anything?" Minkowski pressed.

"No, nothing unusual."

"No blue sparks yet?"

"Blue sparks?" Hera asked, sounding puzzled. 

"Yes, it got like a lightning storm in there —" Minkowski paused. "Wait. What did you see when I got shocked?"

"Is… this a trick question?" Hera asked. "There wasn't anything to see. You just got thrown back."

"Hold up," Lovelace said. "You _didn't see_ the bright blue bolt of lightning that hit Minkowski?"

"Um… no?" Hera said. "Why are you all staring at me?"

"It was pretty hard to miss," Eiffel said.

"If you say so," Hera said, doubtfully.

"Well," Minkowski said, "That's certainly new information." 

"We need a different approach," Lovelace said.

An alarm blared.

"Hera —"

"Abandon ship!" Hera shouted, panicked. "Reactor core meltdown imminent — Seriously, _run_ —"

"Hera!" Eiffel yelled back, over the din. "We're not leaving you, can't you —"

No time.

Light, heat, bright, gone.

* * *

"Minkowski! Minkowski, can you hear me?"

"Hera, start a clock," Minkowski ordered. 

"What — Why?"

She opened her eyes. Her body ached. "Did you do it?"

"Yes, it's running, but _why_?"

"Commander, are you okay?" Eiffel demanded, trying to push Lovelace out of the way.

Lovelace pushed back at him. "Give her a moment, she's disorientated."

Minkowski pried herself free with some determination. "It's okay. I'm fine."

"Yeeeeah," Lovelace said, unconvinced. "Let's say, you don't quite seem at your best."

"And why am I running a clock?" Hera repeated.

"We're in a time loop," Minkowski said. "It starts when I get zapped, and ends… twentyish minutes from now, when the Hephaestus gets blown up by mysterious blue lightning that Hera can't see. I need to find out exactly how long it lasts."

There was a long moment of startled silence. 

"What, for real?" Eiffel asked.

" _Yes_ , for real!" Minkowski snapped. "Do you really think I'd be making something like this up?"

Lovelace met Minkowski's eyes. "Okay," she said.

"Okay?"

"Okay. So what do we do about it?"

Unfortunately, Minkowski had nothing to offer but the truth. "I don't know. Last time we tried pumping all the air out of Engineering so there would be nothing to ignite, but one of the reactors still managed to go critical."

"Well, I suppose that's a data point," Lovelace said. "Was it the same engine each time that blew up?"

"Yes, number two."

"Hera, can you shut that engine down completely?"

"Ye-es," Hera said. "You're not thinking of jettisoning the reactor core too, I hope?"

"Well," Lovelace said, "Not immediately."

* * *

"Minkowski! Minkowski, can you hear me?"

"Hera, start a nineteen minute countdown," Minkowski ordered. "Confirm? Okay, here's what's happening…"

* * *

When the reactor core was jettisoned, it went into meltdown when it was still close enough to catch the Hephaestus in its blast radius.

* * *

"But why do you think this is happening?" Eiffel asked.

"I think we can assume our Dear Listeners don't want all the effort they've put into us to be wasted by us exploding," Lovelace said.

"Oh yeah, they'd have to start over with the cryptic messages and then months of no contact," Eiffel snarked. "Why don't they just, I don't know, _stop us exploding?_ "

"We have to assume that they can't," Minkowski said. "They must need us to physically fix something to stop it happening. Maybe this is all they can do — give us a chance."

"I've got a better idea," Eiffel said. He looked meaningfully at Lovelace. "How about you go glowy and give us a hint?"

"Eiffel…" Minkowski said, warningly. "We are _not_ going down that path again. Not while we still have other options."

"I don't see how us dying horribly over and over is a good option."

"Let's just… table this discussion for now, okay?"

"Sure, Commander. I'm _sure_ you'll remember to bring it up again."

* * *

"Have we tried getting Jacobi to, um, explosively detach that section of the Hephaestus?"

"You mean the _engines_?" Lovelace groaned. "I can think of a couple of _very small_ problems with that idea."

Eiffel pouted. "I was just trying to help. Kickstart ideas."

Lovelace rolled her eyes at him. "Great job. Thank you. We'll take it under consideration."

"You don't need to be so sarcastic."

"Excuse me, but I absolutely do."

Minkowski sighed heavily in response to the wounded look Eiffel was throwing her. "Who knows, a few more of these cycles and I might actually start listening to you." She rubbed at her eyes.

Eiffel gave a little cough. "Uh, Commander?"

She looked up. "What?"

"How are you holding up?" He was looking at her in concern. So was Lovelace.

She sighed. "I'll be fine. We just need to figure this thing out."

"Minkowski," Lovelace said, "You're getting electrocuted and then blown up every nineteen minutes. Forgive us for being a bit worried about what sort of toll that's taking on you."

"A non-permanent one, since I just keep resetting," Minkowski said. "Hera, I want to try doing a complete electrical shutdown station-wide while we put maximum core containment procedures in place."

"Didn't you say you tried that already?" Hera asked.

"Sort of, but this time we'll do it _better_. We _can_ do this eventually."

"Uh huh," Hera said, skeptically. "And I agree with the others, by the way. You look awful."

Minkowski gritted her teeth. "Well, there's not a lot I can _do_ about that, is there? Other than keep trying. So can we? Please?"

"Okay," Lovelace said. Too gently for Minkowski's liking. "We'll help you."

They got to work. _Please,_ Minkowski thought, hard. _Maybe this time, please…_

* * *

"What, every time we explode?"

"Yes, Eiffel," Minkowski said, wearily.

Eiffel boggled. "What does that feel like?"

" _Really_?" Lovelace hissed.

"You heard the Commander, it's what's going to happen to us in nineteen minutes. I'd like to prepare myself!"

"Officer Eiffel, would it kill you to show a _little_ sensitivity?" Hera asked.

Minkowski sighed. "It's okay. I'd want to know too. And don't worry. It's all over pretty quickly."

* * *

"You're being very calm about all this," Minkowski said.

"I know," Lovelace said. "It's one of my multitude of talents."

Minkowski sighed. "Can we just… Oh, never mind."

Lovelace became serious. She put the tool in her hand away. "Sorry. You want a proper conversation, don't you."

"I'd like that," Minkowski said, in relief. "We don't have long —"

"Six more minutes, yeah. So. It's easier to be calm when you remember this crap from the opposite side. And looping really sucked."

Minkowski allowed herself to act on the impulse of burying her head in her hands. Briefly. "I just want it to _stop,_ " she said. "I feel like I barely have time to catch my breath before bam, I'm recovering from being electrocuted again. There's no time to plan properly. It's all just a mess."

Lovelace eyed her carefully. "Honestly, you don't look great," she said. "Is it getting worse?"

"I really don't want to think about it too much," Minkowski admitted. 

"You want my advice, as a time loop veteran?" Lovelace asked. Her tone was light, but her expression wasn't. "You say you don't have time, but you've got lots of it. Way too much. If you need a break, just go for it."

"I can't," Minkowski insisted immediately. "I've got to keep trying —"

"You'll figure it out," Lovelace said. "You want to know the other reason why I'm so calm? Because I know you'll get there eventually."

Minkowski sighed heavily. "I'm not sure of that myself," she admitted. "I'm… scared."

"Yeah, no kidding. Again, time loop survivors' club member right here. Just remember tha—"

* * *

"Minkowski! Minkowski, can you hear me?"

 _Hera, start a clock,_ she meant to say, but the words didn't make it out of her mouth. It was a feeling of not quite being able to wake up.

"Eiffel, give me a hand, let's get her to the lab."

Minkowski finally wrenched her eyes open. "There isn't time. I'm okay."

"What are you talking about?" Lovelace asked. "About not having time, I mean. You're obviously _not_ okay, so I'm ignoring that."

"We're in a time loop," Minkowski said. "Nineteen minutes." How many had she already wasted? Her head was swimming, and it took her a while to realise that Lovelace and Eiffel were continuing to manoeuvre her out of the bridge. "I'm being serious! I need to stay here."

"No, you need to lie down," Lovelace said.

"We are going to _explode_!"

At that, Lovelace finally paused. "Really? How do we stop it?"

"I don't know. Working on it." She shut her eyes for a moment, to better focus. "I _need_ to work on it."

"Captain?" Eiffel stage-whispered as Lovelace determinedly started moving again, "What if she's right?"

"Then I guess we blow up and never remember this," Lovelace said. "Since she's barely coherent it's a risk I'm willing to take."

Faced with Lovelace at her most stubborn, it was a sheer relief to simply surrender. Just for this one time.

* * *

"Minkowski! Minkowski, can you hear me?"

"Hera, start a nineteen minute countdown." She blinked, blinked, forced away the grey dizziness. "So, we're in a time loop…"

* * *

"Hey, Commander?"

They were laying in grounding wires as fast as possible. She didn't look up. "What is it, Eiffel?"

"What does it feel like, when we blow up?"

Her hands faltered for just a moment. "It hurts. It _really_ hurts."

"Oh."

She belatedly glanced up and took notice of his expression. "It's barely for a second, though. Then it's over."

"Oh. Good?" He was silent for a bit. "How many times have you been through it?"

She shook her head. "It's easier not keeping track. I think."

* * *

"Commander, can I ask a question?"

"I suppose so."

"What does it feel like to explode?"

Minkowski groaned. "I really wish you'd quit asking me that."

* * *

"Please, Lieutenant, I don't think it's safe to stay in there," Hera said.

Minkowski shook her head. "I know, but I need to see what's actually happening. Maybe it'll help."

The blue sparks were flickering, rising. Minkowski hung in the centre of engineering, well away from any conducting surfaces.

The door opened. "I came to keep you company," Lovelace said, jauntily, and launched herself from its rim.

"You can't be in here!" Minkowski protested. "It's dangerous."

"And what, only you get to have any fun?" Lovelace reached her. "This is a terrible idea, so I'm not going to let you do it on your own."

"Eiffel's only not here because the Captain ordered him to stay out," Hera added. "Oh, and locked him in the bridge."

Lovelace shrugged. "It's dangerous in here!"

Flickers of blue current danced over the engine casings. "You're an idiot," Minkowski said.

"Eh, I've been called worse."

The current began to crackle and arc between the engines and the walls.

"Minkowski," Lovelace said, "Does it look to you like the current's coming from between the wall panels?" She had to raise her voice to be heard.

Minkowski squinted. "Maybe?" She ran through the implications. "You think it's coming from outside the station? It's a vacuum out there, there's nothing to conduct it."

"Yes," Lovelace said, "If this place has taught us anything it's that we can always rely absolutely on what we consider to be unbreakable laws of science."

Minkowski had no chance to respond, as blue lightning began to stab through the air in alarming volume. Far too late to get out.

Lovelace yelled in pain as a blue spear caught her in the thigh.

"Captain!" Minkowski twisted desperately towards her spasming body. Too slowly —

The current seemed to burn through every nerve at once. It hurt more than exploding did, and went on for longer —

* * *

"I think she's coming round. Hey, Commander. Commander, can you hear me?"

It was Eiffel's voice, and that threw her, although she couldn't immediately remember why.

"It's okay, you're safe. Just, open your eyes so we can stop freaking out?"

"No one's freaking out except you, Eiffel."

"Excuse me, Captain, but you definitely had your freaking out face on there."

Minkowski finally cracked her eyes open, but failed to get her vision focus. She couldn't see more than vague people-shaped blurs looming over her.

"Easy, Minkowski," Lovelace said, and there was a firm pressure on her shoulder. "Don't try to move. You had a seizure."

"Because you got electrocuted," Eiffel put in.

"Are you being purposely unhelpful?"

"I think it's more reassuring to let her know there was a cause!" Eiffel protested.

"Eiffel, shut up." Lovelace touched Minkowski's cheek gently. "Minkowski, you're going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay."

Minkowski closed her eyes. She was sick of having to say why that wasn't true.

"No-no-no," Lovelace said, sharply. "Get your eyes back open. Can you talk?"

That _was_ her freaked out voice, and it spurred Minkowski to try again.

"That's better," Eiffel said. "We'd still really like you to say something, though."

Minkowski swallowed thickly. "Don' worry," she slurred.

Lovelace snorted. "Not going to happen, try again."

"At least we know she's still in there," Eiffel said.

"Oh yes, and she's helpful as always."

She wanted — she wanted to shut her eyes and fall away. But there were things she had to do. Had to… She was still working up to trying to explain when she realised that Lovelace and Eiffel were hooking her up to various monitors. She was in the med lab. When had that happened?

"Where's Hilbert when you need him?" Eiffel was muttering.

"She's going to be fine," Lovelace reassured him. "Just stay calm." She turned, and noticed Minkowski looking at her. "Right, Minkowski?"

"Yeah," Minkowski said. Her voice was thin; almost a whisper.

"Guys, I'm really sorry to do this now," Hera interjected, "But I'm getting some really weird feedback from the comms room."

"Weird how?" Lovelace asked.

"Weird like a migraine? I really don't know how to describe it, and I know this isn't a good time, but I do think someone needs to check it out. Please?"

"I'll stay with Minkowski," Eiffel said immediately.

Lovelace growled at him. "The problem's in comms. You're the comms officer, ergo this is _your_ problem. Go and do your job."

"But you're better at fixing stuff!"

"I'm also pulling rank. Get the hell going."

"Oh, come on!" Eiffel hissed, but he went. Reluctantly.

They were running out of time. But Minkowski couldn't help the sheer guilty relief she felt at realising that no one knew that she _should_ be doing anything.

Someone had even taken off her comm. So although she saw Lovelace's face light up with alarm, she was insulated from it all.

"Minkowski, I'm sorry, I have to go," Lovelace said.

 _No._ Selfishly, Minkowski grabbed for her hand, and held on tight. "Please, don't. Just a few minutes."

Lovelace pursed her mouth in indecision. "Eiffel, is anything about to literally explode? Are you _sure_?" And then, "Okay, do what you can. Keep me updated."

Minkowski let out a long breath. She felt a sudden calm — although it was the calm in the eye of the storm, and she was deceiving her crew-members by not warning them of the hurricane. But she closed her eyes, and held onto Lovelace, and wished as hard as she could for those brief minutes not to end.

* * *

"Minkowski! Minkowski, can you hear me?"

It wasn't _quite_ as bad this time. She was bone-tired, but…

"Hera, start a nineteen-minute countdown."

"Sure, but why?"

She opened her eyes, and with alarm realised that her vision was still blurring. _Not again…_

"Um, Commander?" Eiffel sounded… worried. And a little scared. "Are you… crying?"

"No!" Minkowski said, and angrily blotted her eyes with her sleeve.

"Um, it kinda looks like…" Eiffel began.

"Eiffel, could you perhaps not?" Lovelace suggested.

"What, are we supposed to be ashamed of our human reactions now?" Eiffel demanded.

"Ahem," Hera said, meaningfully.

"Sorry. Our person…ness?"

"Better."

"Right! So as I was saying, since we're not in fact stoic cybermen or whatever, we don't need to ignore that the Commander is clearly upset."

"I'm not upset!" Minkowski snapped.

"Ooo-kay," Lovelace said. "I wasn't with Eiffel until this moment, but you're clearly _something_."

"There's nothing you can do about it!" Minkowski was aware that she was halfway to shouting, but she couldn't manage to bring her voice back under control. "I'm just _tired_ , is all; I'm so tired of watching you three die over and over every nineteen minutes and not be able to do anything to stop it! I'm tired of hoping each loop is the last one, and I'm also scared that there's a finite number of them and I'm just _wasting_ them and suddenly we'll be out of chances!" She had to pause to gulp in air. "And most of all I'm so goddamn tired of having to explain everything _over and over_ and answer the same stupid questions and try to justify why I can't _just find the goddamn solution already_!"

That… had definitely been shouting. Very loud shouting. She was exhausted again in the wake of it.

Hera was the one to hesitantly speak up. "So… is it just me who feels like I'm missing some context here?"

"She just explained it," Eiffel retorted. "We're in a nineteen-minute time loop and we all die at the end. Obviously."

"Wow," Lovelace said. "That's… something."

"Yes," Minkowski said flatly, already beginning to be ashamed of her outburst. "Isn't it just."

"What are the stupid questions?" Eiffel asked. "So we can avoid them."

Minkowski sighed. "Any question you're thinking of right now? Probably it counts."

"Why you, though?" Eiffel asked.

Lovelace groaned. "What, immediately?"

Minkowski frowned. "That may actually be a brand new question. Incredibly. What do you mean, Eiffel?"

He shrugged diffidently. "Why's it you riding the time loop-the-loop and not the previous Captain of this particular rollercoaster? There's got to be a reason, right? You're not an alien, so maybe it's, like, something only you can fix?"

"I assume it's because I was the one to get zapped by the weird blue lightning. It certainly makes sure both bookends of this awful show are memorable."

"Wait, what weird blue lightning?" Hera asked.

"Yeah, the rest of us can see it but you can't. Hence weird."

"That's worrying."

"Wait til it starts blowing up the engine," Minkowski said, darkly.

"So, to sum up," Eiffel said. "Weird blue invisible-to-Hera energy blows up the Hephaestus. The Commander gets hit with — what, a stray offshoot? — and suddenly she's looping. I presume we're pinning all the credit for the latter on our long-long-distance penpals."

"Well, yeah," Minkowski said.

"But Lovelace got a whole day to relive over and over, and all she had to do to turn it off in the end was shoot a computer. It seems like you're coming off a bit unfairly in comparison."

"Yes, she's preparing a written complaint as we speak," Lovelace said. "Where's this train of thought going?"

"I have no real idea," Eiffel said. "Feel free to hop aboard anytime with your ticket of truth! It kind of sounds like this blue stuff is messing with the schedule, anyway. Have you tried blocking the signal?"

Minkowski stared at him.

Eiffel raised his hands. "Okay, sorry, I know, one of those stupid questions you're fed up with answering."

"Actually…" Minkowski struggled to keep her voice level. "We've — _I've_ — focused on trying to contain or protect the station hardware. Since Hera can't even _detect_ the energy discharges…" She trailed off.

"Speaking of," Hera said, her tone a very forced casual, "From what you're saying, I suspect you already know about the bizarre feedback I've just begun getting from the comms room?"

"Dammit," Minkowski said, frustrated. "We're almost out of time. Again."

"But we've got a course of action," Lovelace said. "Hera, start analysing the hell out of your bizarre feedback. We need some clues about how to start getting you to see it."

"Make sure you give me regular reports," Minkowski said.

Lovelace had already moved to a monitor and began pulling up various systems. Minkowski took the next one over.

"What about me?" Eiffel asked. "If my equipment's gone all Emperor Palpatine then I'm not sure what to do."

"Come up with some more stupid questions," Minkowski told him.

He grinned. "You got it, Commander. And I could get you a coffee while I'm doing that?"

Minkowski paused with her fingers on the keyboard and smiled more than she could remember doing in — Well. "That would be _amazing_. Thank you."

* * *

After that, she tipped over into some sort of fever-dream state beyond exhaustion, where loops began to blur and run together.

"Tell me next time to start with resonance," Hera said.

"I found something weird on the outside receptors," Eiffel said. "No idea what, yet, but it _definitely_ qualifies as weird."

"We'll get there, Minkowski," Lovelace said.

Somewhere in the background, behind the frenetic activity, she began to feel hopeful again.

* * *

"Minkow —"

"I'm here, I'm here." She opened her eyes, talking even while she was fighting off the dizziness. "This is going to sound crazy, but I need you to all listen carefully and do exactly what I say."

* * *

"No!" Minkowski force-closed the program Lovelace was working on, ignoring her aggrieved yelp. "What are you doing? We already decided that was a waste of time!"

Lovelace blew out a lungful of air. "Okay, I'm sure you did have that conversation with me in one of your other time-loops, but it wasn't this one. So don't bite my head off, okay?"

Minkowski raked a hand through her hair. "Are you sure?"

"I am one hundred percent sure, yes."

"Oh." She tried to sieve her memories more accurately. Didn't manage it. "Oh."

"Are you holding up all right?"

Minkowski tried to laugh lightly. To her ears it just sounded frantic, or possibly crazed. "All the go-rounds are getting mixed up. I barely even notice the part where I blow up any more. How does that sound?"

"Honestly, not great," Lovelace said. "I hope you're planning on taking a good long break from active rotation when this is over."

Minkowski groaned. "I genuinely can't imagine this being over," she admitted.

"Yeah, that's what I mean," Lovelace said. She noticed Minkowski's sudden smile. "Hey, what's funny?"

"Nothing," Minkowski said.

"Come on, out with it."

"It's just — you keep on saying things like that. Being concerned. In practically every loop, right from the start. It's very sweet."

"Wow, it's like I'm your friend or something," Lovelace deadpanned. "Seriously, Minkowski, this is surprising to you?"

"That's not what I meant," Minkowski protested, flustered. "Um. Maybe we should get back to work?"

"Whatever you say," Lovelace agreed, albeit with a suspiciously teasing grin. "So, are you going to bring me up to speed in _this_ timeline?"

* * *

Spectrographic analysis and radiation thresholds and resonant frequencies… She had more information to update her gabbled spiel each time. Which at last was progress, or at least felt like it.

* * *

"Uh. Commander?"

She blinked at Eiffel, and realised she had no idea what he had just been saying. "Wha-?"

"Hi again," he said. "I mean. I think?"

She blinked again. Her eye sockets felt gravelly. "What do you mean?"

"We were talking," Eiffel said, "And then you just… stopped. You know?"

"Not really?" She tried again to dredge up the conversation. "What were we talking about?"

"I've got an idea," Eiffel said. "Instead of listening to me answer that question, why don't you go shut your eyes for the next twelve-odd minutes? You look _exhausted_ , and I'm pretty sure you just fell asleep while you were halfway through a word. Normally I'd be offended."

Minkowski tried not to yawn, with zero success. "I really hate to say it, but that sounds great," she admitted.

"Go ahead," Eiffel said. "I won't tell, and I'll wake you up in time to get handover notes."

Having committed to it, she wasn't going to waste a single potential second of sleep. Minkowski checked she wasn't in the way, and allowed herself to go limp. She inhaled deeply, and let it out —

"Lieutenant!" Hera called.

Minkowski jerked sharply. "Yes!" she said. "I'm here!"

Eiffel groaned. "Hera, couldn't you have let the Commander nap for, like, a whole minute?"

"Sorry, but no," Hera said. "Lieutenant, I can see your blue lightning stuff. And woah, is this trippy! I am _not_ used to all these filters I'm running."

"You can see it in comms?" Minkowski asked. She kneaded her eyes with her knuckles.

"I can see it _everywhere,_ " Hera said. "This stuff's crawling over the whole station, and leaking into all my systems."

Eiffel spun around in alarm. "What, even here right now?"

"Uh huh," Hera confirmed. "Nowhere near the show that's going on in comms, though. Or what's building up around the engines. You must only be noticing it when it's at a particularly high density."

Eiffel snapped his fingers. "Hold up a sec. Could this be what's responsible for all those glitches?"

"It seems pretty likely," Hera agreed.

"What glitches?" Minkowski asked.

Eiffel looked at her askance. "You know, all the weird low-level malfunctions over the past couple of days that we've been racking our brains trying to track down?"

"I… maybe? Wait, yes, I remember now." She shrugged in response to the stare he gave her. "I've had other things on my mind! For a subjective perspective of… well, it feels like weeks."

He became derailed. "How long has it been for you, do you think? If you added all the loops up?"

Minkowski rubbed her forehead. "Frankly, I have no interest even in estimating it, because it's horrifying to think about. And we're _wasting time_. Hera, you said you can see this stuff all throughout the Hephaestus. How about outside it?"

"That's harder to say for sure," Hera said. "I don't have all the right sensors on the hull. But all indications suggest that it's working its way in from outside."

"Any ideas on how to block it out?"

"Not yet, but there has to be a way. A theoretical way, anyhow. If it needs equipment we don't have…"

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it," Minkowski said. "First, I need you to explain to me all the filters you're using so I can get the information to you as quickly as possible next time…"

* * *

"Minkowski! Min —"

"Hi, Captain, I'm okay, we're in a time loop. Hera, prepare to run these filters over all your sensory inputs —"

She only hoped she was remembering everything correctly.

"Huh," Lovelace said, when she was finished. "I was about to ask whether you're serious, but that was pretty convincing."

"Thank you so much," Minkowski said, dryly.

"Ooh," Hera said. "Woah."

"Is it working?" Minkowski asked.

"Either that or you gave me a virus. Where did all this creepy blue energy come from?"

Eiffel looked around and behind him in alarm. "What?"

"We only see it when it's at a high enough density," Minkowski said. "Like when it zapped me."

"Oh, that's what it was?" Hera asked. "Yeah, that does make sense, it's _all_ over you. Just beginning to fade."

Minkowski couldn't help shuddering and glancing down at her skin. "We need to block it out. Otherwise it will keep building up and reach a critical level."

Eiffel gulped. "Uh, do you mean 'critical' as in —"

"Yes, that is exactly what I mean. So, we have to block it out, reflect it, neutralise it, something. We've got seventeen minutes; let's go."

"And what happens after — Ow!"

" _Thank_ you, Captain," Minkowski said, with heartfelt relief.

"No problem. Eiffel, don't sulk. Let's get to work."

* * *

"It's definitely leaking in from outside the station," Hera said. "I just can't get an accurate reading."

"What would you need to make that accurate reading happen?" Minkowski asked.

"Better eyes outside? The problem is, even a hull-mounted sensor gives me a pretty limited view."

Minkowski swallowed. "I have a really terrible idea for the next loop."

"Go on, hit me."

"Would you be able to get the info you need from handheld equipment? If it was located so as to give you a proper field of view?"

"Yeeees…"

"I'm not sure I like where you're going with this," Eiffel said.

* * *

"How the hell did we not talk you out of this crazy idea in the previous loop?" Eiffel demanded.

"Hera, I think my suit's comm speakers are set too loudly," Minkowski said.

"Nope, they're fine," Hera said. "Officer Eiffel's just really upset."

"Okay, then my suit checks are all done," Minkowski reported. "Everyone —" she took a deep breath — "Stand by."

Acknowledgement from everyone, even if Eiffel's was given exceedingly grudgingly.

She finished cycling the airlock, then opened the outer hatch and stepped onto the hull. Carefully — the sensor equipment strapped across her chest and back made her movements even more stiff and uncomfortable than was usual for a spacesuit. 

"I'm about to get clear of the station," she said.

"Eiffel, close your mouth back up. We don't want to hear it," Lovelace ordered. Minkowski grinned.

"Okay, I'm turning off my mag boots and — I've pushed off. I'm floating. Moving away from the Hephaestus."

The high-pitched whimper was presumably from Eiffel.

"If you hadn't _lost_ my jetpack," she reminded him, tartly, and got a significantly more guilty noise in response.

She had faced towards the station as she kicked off, careful to avoid any spin. Now the structure gradually grew larger and larger as she could fit more of it into her view until she could see all of it at once, hanging in the star-studded black like a particularly ugly Christmas ornament. "Hera, are you getting any readings?" she asked.

"Loud and clear," Hera assured her. "And bright and blue as well. Wow. This stuff is everywhere."

"Everywhere as in all over the Hephaestus, or in space as well?"

"It's like you're floating through a cloud," Hera said. "It's all around."

Minkowski lifted her arm and tried to force her eyes to see blue energy dancing along it. 

"It's kind of… beautiful," Hera said.

She couldn't see any of it. And yet — as she drifted further her eyes suddenly told her there was a difference around her. "Hera? Anything new?"

"Oh, you've found the edge," Hera said. "Neat, it really _does_ look like a cloud from the outside. What if space is full of these, just drifting along, and no one apart from us has ever realised?"

"That's a lovely philosophical thought," Lovelace said, "But I really hope you're scanning at the same time."

"Of course I am," Hera said. "I'm throwing everything at it just to see what happens. Plus working on my algorithm to compress as much information as possible for verbal storage-and-retrieval."

"We're lucky the Commander's got a good memory," Eiffel said. "Must be from practising all those musicals."

Lovelace sighed heavily. "Eiffel. Is this _really_ the time?"

"Look, I need some way to deal with my intense anxiety about the current situation. Cracking jokes it is."

"It's good to be able to rely on something," Minkowski conceded. "Even if it's only your terrible sense of humour."

"How are you doing?" Lovelace asked her.

"I'm terrified," Minkowski admitted. "No tether, drifting further and further towards deep space… I've had this nightmare about once a week since the very start of the mission. But at the same time, Hera's right. It's _amazing_. This is a view to kill for."

Either no one had anything to say to that, or they were letting her enjoy the moment. Whichever it was, Minkowski was grateful for the few minutes of silence. Falling free through starlight.

Incredible.

"Are you ready for me, Lieutenant?" Hera asked, finally breaking the spell.

"I'm ready," Minkowski said. "How are things over there?"

"We've got that lightshow in comms you warned us about," Lovelace said. "Eiffel and I came to see it out of curiosity. It's really something."

"Be careful," Minkowski said, uselessly.

"Ahem," Hera said. "I believe we're about to be cutting it a bit fine?"

"Yes, let's get this done," Minkowski said, and dove into Hera's vocally-packaged algorithmic instructions. 

She only just had it down when Hera said, "I think… this may be it."

"Oh, god," Eiffel breathed. "Is it going to hurt?"

"Hey, I've got you," Lovelace said. "Minkowski — good luck."

"Yeah, that," Eiffel said. "You do promise that all this will be fine and we won't remember it?"

"I promise," Minkowski said. The Hephaestus was so small now. 

"Hey," Hera said. "It's okay, Doug."

"Sure, and —" But he broke off, and then he was gasping, and then screaming but only for an instant —

The station exploded from the aft section, splitting open like an over-ripe seedpod, an orange-yellow fireball blossoming in the scant seconds while there was still oxygen for it to consume. It was so _fast_ and from where Minkowski hung suspended it was completely silent.

Then the outer shell of the blast hit her, sending her tumbling and spinning wildly so that all she could see were the streaking blurs of distant stars and random blue glimpses of Wolf 359. On and on and on.

She would have screamed then, if she'd had any breath. Because until that moment she had given no thought to _What if the explosion doesn't kill me?_ What if, without her death, the loop wouldn't reset and instead this was _it_ , spinning off into space to suffocate when her air supply ran out and knowing that she'd let her crew die so casually, so _certain_ that she understood how this thing worked?

"Don't leave me here!" she shrieked, furious. "You wanted me to fix this, I'm _trying_! You can't let it end like this, it would be such a _waste_ — Send me _back_ —"

* * *

"Minkowski! Minkowski, can you hear me?"

She opened her eyes. "Hera," she said, and recited her instructions. "Translate and run everything immediately."

"What… the hell…" Eiffel said. He and Lovelace were both staring at her.

She stared back. Nothing came to her to say.

"You're shaking," Lovelace said. "Minkowski, what just happened?"

She raised her hands to look at them. They were trembling violently. Her whole body was.

"Woah!" Hera exclaimed. "Where did this — When did — Should we block it out?"

"Can you?" Minkowski asked. She was surprised to note that her voice was completely steady. Expressionless, but completely steady.

"If Officer Eiffel helps me, we can set up a modified series of pulses which should counteract the energy's resonance within the Hephaestus. You gave me all the key data just now that I needed to pinpoint it."

"Do it," Minkowski said, with the first piece of expression that had come to her so far. " _Go!_ "

That left her with Lovelace, who continued staring at her. "You look like you're in shock," she said. "Seriously. What in all the hells just happened to you?"

"I can't do this again," Minkowski found herself whispering. "I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't."

"Okay," Lovelace said, her palms out like she was trying not to spook her. "Everything will be all right."

"Tell me that in fourteen minutes," Minkowski said, and managed to squash the urge to start laughing hysterically.

She hadn't expected it to end like this. Waiting, while the clock ran out, because the actual saving-the-day relied on skills she didn't have.

She couldn't face the thought that it might not be the end at all and there might be more loops ahead. She felt, quite simply and inflexibly, that she couldn't endure any more of this.

Her comm buzzed. "Commander," Eiffel said, "We're up and running."

"The weird energy's being pushed out," Hera said. "I can already barely see it in most of my systems."

Minkowski checked her watch. "Where are you?" she asked.

"In the comms room, why?"

"I'm going to engineering," Minkowski said.

"I'm coming too," Lovelace said, and apparently didn't require any acknowledgement.

"That's one of the areas with the highest residual energy," Hera cautioned her. "Although… did you already know that?"

"Seriously, what is going on?" Eiffel stage-whispered, and then his comm buzzed out. It was not beyond possible that Hera had cut it.

Engineering was quiet. As quiet as it got, anyway, with its usual background muffled thumping and clanking.

The number two engine was behaving unremarkably.

Nothing at all held a hint of blueness.

"Hera, how long is it since I was knocked out?" Minkowski asked. "How long _exactly_?"

"Mmm… twenty-one minutes and twelve seconds," Hera said.

In gravity, her knees would have buckled. Instead they drew up, her body briefly contracting into a ball. Things went white. She could hear Lovelace calling her name.

"I'm still here," she whispered. She held to it as sound and colour began to flow back. _I'm still here._

"Eiffel, get down here," Lovelace ordered. She had grabbed hold of Minkowski. She was the only fixed point in a swirling universe. Minkowski clung tightly to her arm.

"Lieutenant Minkowski, are you okay?" Hera asked.

"What's happening?" Eiffel demanded.

"Minkowski collapsed," Lovelace said. "Did you think she looked bad before? That was nothing."

"Hey," Minkowski tried to protest. It was barely a breath.

"Oh, is that unfair?" Lovelace asked her, too loud and strident. "Your face is completely bloodless and you look like you're about to throw up. And you're still shaking."

That description didn't begin to touch on how badly her head was spinning. Exhaustion, shock, and adrenaline backlash was one hell of a lethal combo. "I think… I need to lie down," she said.

"I think so too," Lovelace said. "Ah, Eiffel. Grab Minkowski's other arm and we'll see if we get to the med lab before she passes out."

They did, just about. She knew that she was sinking fast, and was no longer able to fight it. Had lost the impetus to do so.

"But I still want to know _what's going on_!" she heard Eiffel whine.

"I've told you as much as I can work out," Hera said, impatiently. "You just have to be patient."

They were getting her settled in the bed. Minkowski focused on making her voice work. "Time loop," she said.

"What, really?" Eiffel, of all things, sounded _excited_.

"Nineteen minutes. Boom. Repeat." That was enough words to completely wring her out.

"That's —" Lovelace began, and stopped. "How many times?"

Wordlessly, Minkowski closed her eyes and shook her head.

After a few moments, a hand slipped into hers and held it tightly. Her other hand was claimed a second later. She was certain that Hera would have joined in if she could.

"How long now?" she whispered.

"Thirty-nine minutes, Lieutenant," Hera said.

_And I'm still here._

"You're still here," Lovelace said, as if she had heard. "We all are."

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

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> This author replies to comments.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Art] Borrowed Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14413284) by [Jakebot_Archive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakebot_Archive/pseuds/Jakebot_Archive)




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